who am I

I have spent much of my adult life trying to figure out what happened to me. Why did I turn out the way did. No, I’m not a bad person and I’m not in jail (nor should I be). But very early on I began to make poor life decisions, and continue on with that pattern. I then try and figure out why I made those decisions.

And I was a terrible teenager. Oh, I was, believe me. And really for no good reason. I had great parents. I really did. We had a nice house and as far as I was aware had money for everything I wanted. My parents had a great marriage and while they did not show a lot of affection for one another (you just didn’t back then) I knew they were very much in love. And yes, I was the baby of the family with two older sisters. But we were not particularly close though.

So what was it in my childhood or in my past that turned me into who I am today? While I am not necessarily ashamed of who I am I’m also not particularly proud of who I am either. I am ashamed of some of my life choices though as well as how I have treated my family.

When I was in my 30’s my mother and I spoke of my childhood and I explained to her what I felt had been part of the problem. Interestingly enough it was almost 30 years later that I read an article that explained much of the same thing. It was through that article that I learned I was an adult TCK. I finally had a name to my situation, to my life.

I don’t necessarily like long blog posts so I will stop here. But before I do I will explain that a TCK is short of Third Culture Kid. That is an individual who, before the age of 18 (in other words their developing years) in a culture outside of their parents. I spent several years overseas – and loved it. The problems began when we returned home.

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