though I honestly really can’t place a specific time or place on it. But I became “that” teenager. I hated everyone and everything. I hated what my parents tried to do – you know, things like parenting. I hated that I had a curfew and that I was not allowed to date until a certain age. I hated I could not wear makeup or have my ears pierced. And I hated school.
I began cutting classes here and there and eventually it became full days that I would cut. Oh I got caught, many times. I was suspended from school for cutting…hmmm, what is wrong with that picture? I was grounded by my parents for cutting school.
I began to smoke and drink. Unfortunately I still smoke. I hate it. It never really did make me look “cool” as I thought it did. Drink, yea I still do but certainly not on a regular basis. I would stead my parent’s cigarettes and get in trouble for that.
I had many boyfriends though I’m not sure many of them really meant anything. One definitely did. We went “steady” for almost 2.5 years. He was a good guy though certainly not the best looking around. I have heard that he married and had a family but then lost track of him. That’s too bad as I would love to know how he did.
I guess I basically began to rebel about everything. And yes, I do mean everything. I was terrible. But I didn’t know what was wrong. Why was I so angry? Why did I hate everything that life had to offer?
I was not a very nice teenager. I was mean (though not bully type mean). I was lazy. I liked the boys and felt they liked me (I figured that one out much later).
I wish I could take those years back. But I can’t. I wish I could apologize to my parents. Well I did to my mother but never had the chance with my father.
Unfortunately that was a large part of what made me. I’m not happy about those years and I’m not happy with who I was then. It took many years to figure things out and to finally become somewhat happy with myself. That of course is a continuing thing I am working on.