I’m just not ready…

for a relationship. At least with this guy. Or at least I hope that is the case. What if I’m not ready for anyone? That does scare me a bit.

It has been a minimum of 20 years since I have really been in a relationship of any kind. So when this guy showed even a little bit of interest to me I think I just fell for it. I have spent the last five months with him and the last month or maybe six weeks picking out all the little things I don’t like about him. But I have also been trying to figure out if I could live with those “little” things long term or not. Most, yes, I think I possibly could. But there are a few things that I know would drive me over the edge.

So I suppose today is going to be “break-up” day. I dread it. I really do. What will his response be? Will he be hurt? Will he be upset? Honestly, I don’t know. I do think, though, that he knows it is coming.

But the big question is this: Will I have to wait another 20 years before someone else finds me attractive? Or before someone wants to be with me? Oh I really hope not!

But that is what is so great about this group I have found myself in. It is group that I met via the internet (well, where else??). We started off as a hiking/walking group but as with any group of this nature there has become a core group which is primarily women – all of whom are women of a certain age. We have become a close group of friends and now do much more than just walk and hike though we still do that. All of these women are single and all are going through the same thing. Though several have had relationships more recently than I. Perhaps with their help and encouragement I might actually get out there and begin meeting some more men. Wonder if there are any men of a certain age out there that are worth it?

LOL…also without a man in my life I might actually have time to post a bit more on here than I have been!

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