Tag Archives: children

rebellion set in…

though I honestly really can’t place a specific time or place on it. But I became “that” teenager. I hated everyone and everything. I hated what my parents tried to do – you know, things like parenting. I hated that I had a curfew and that I was not allowed to date until a certain age. I hated I could not wear makeup or have my ears pierced. And I hated school.

I began cutting classes here and there and eventually it became full days that I would cut. Oh I got caught, many times. I was suspended from school for cutting…hmmm, what is wrong with that picture? I was grounded by my parents for cutting school.

I began to smoke and drink. Unfortunately I still smoke. I hate it. It never really did make me look “cool” as I thought it did. Drink, yea I still do but certainly not on a regular basis. I would stead my parent’s cigarettes and get in trouble for that.

I had many boyfriends though I’m not sure many of them really meant anything. One definitely did. We went “steady” for almost 2.5 years. He was a good guy though certainly not the best looking around. I have heard that he married and had a family but then lost track of him. That’s too bad as I would love to know how he did.

I guess I basically began to rebel about everything. And yes, I do mean everything. I was terrible. But I didn’t know what was wrong. Why was I so angry? Why did I hate everything that life had to offer?

I was not a very nice teenager. I was mean (though not bully type mean). I was lazy. I liked the boys and felt they liked me (I figured that one out much later).

I wish I could take those years back. But I can’t. I wish I could apologize to my parents. Well I did to my mother but never had the chance with my father.

Unfortunately that was a large part of what made me. I’m not happy about those years and I’m not happy with who I was then. It took many years to figure things out and to finally become somewhat happy with myself. That of course is a continuing thing I am working on.

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discrimination was alive and well…

Did I mention that the school I went “home” to was what I call Lily White? There were no people of color there at all. And by that I mean any color other than white. There were no Hispanics, African American, Asian or anything else other than Caucasian. Now this was very strange to me as the school I had been attending had every nationality, color, religion that you could possibly think of, and probably more!

I did make some friends but it was not that easy for me. I still wanted to be able to do what I had been doing the past couple of years and yet was now too young. These new friends did not understand why on earth I wanted to do those things such as going to the games or dances or whatever. They did not understand where it was I had been and rather made fun of me when they found out. Yes, children can be cruel. And yes, bullying did in fact take place back oh so many years ago.

But being as young as I was I’m not sure that I really thought that much about those things. I knew I was somewhat unhappy but could never really put my finger on why that was. Of course, I’m not sure that I really tried to work it out as again, I was on the young side of life at that period of time.

I found myself also feeling a bit more smart than the rest of the class. Ok, maybe smart is not really the proper word here but there was something that I had that the rest of them didn’t and yes, it did distinguish us. It did put a line between me and everyone else.  Did I actually draw that line? Perhaps I did but am not sure that I was the only one that did.

Things changed for me however, and actually opened my eyes just a bit. But again, being the age I was I did not know how to deal with it.  You see eventually a black family (yes that is what they were called back then) moved into the neighborhood. The daughter was in my class and she and I became pretty good friends.

Of course, no one else in the class or even the school would even acknowledge her. And because I had become friends with her they began to not acknowledge me either. So those “friends” that I had worked so hard to obtain were suddenly gone, out of my life. And yet I had no clue as to why that was, what I had done.

I had never seen discrimination before. That was not how my parents raised us at all. And that was not the life I had lead before. And I did not understand it at all. And it troubled me but I could not put that into words as honestly it was not something I was capable at that point in my life of understanding.

That family moved away not long after that. I do not know why the moved, though at this stage of my life I certainly have my own thoughts about it. But the damage for me had been done. That is certainly, however, not to say that I would not have made friends with her had I know the consequences it would have on my life.  I most certainly would have been friends with her and honestly have always been upset that I did not keep in touch with her. Yes, it would have been much easier on me if she had never moved there but I believe that in reality those so-called friends would have found yet another way to push me out.

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it happened again…

While I was listening/watching the news last night I again felt a bit frustrated. While there were several stories there are two I want to concentrate on.

The first was about an individual who apparently tortured a dog. I really didn’t hear, or perhaps understand, the reason for that. Though in all honesty there really is no good reason for it.  They spent quite a bit of time on this story and interviewed several individuals about it. It was indeed a rather sad, moving piece.

The second story I wanted to mention was that of an accident that took place in which a woman and her 1 year old were injured. This was a tragic accident which should never have taken place. The woman and her two children were walking legally in the crosswalk when the two were struck by a vehicle. Thankfully they are both alright.

What I noticed last night, and it was certainly not the first time, was the story about the dog was the lead story. They took quite a bit of time with this one with numerous photos and interviews.  It was then about 10 minutes later that they did the story of the woman and her child being struck. As I mentioned this is not the first time I have noticed that the stories dealing with animals get much more attention than those dealing with children. In fact I recall several years ago an incident of child molestation came out the same day that some kids tortured a dog while laughing about it. Again the dog story got much more air time than did the story about the child.

Am I missing something? Or does our society truly feel pets are that much more important than human beings, especially children?  I have several friends that are staunch animal rights people. Don’t get me wrong, I love animals. But if I have the choice I will fight for children way over and above animals.  I actually believe they are much more important.  And it may be that I really am missing something. Or I don’t understand the news business (which is true, I don’t).

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