Tag Archives: society

Newtown, Conn – forever changed

ImageAs with most of you my heart breaks for the families, friends and entire community of Newtown, Conn. Posts like this – and many others of a similar nature – should never have to be written. But they will be written and will be done so after this case as well.

 While I have not heard it yet I am sure the issue of gun control will once again surface. Honestly, I do not belong to either side of this particular issue. But I will tell you that gun control will not stop people such as this young man today. If someone is insistent upon obtaining a gun they will do so. Criminals will always be able to do so. If they do not follow the law in registering or other laws in regard to the gun control issue why the Hell would they follow any other law? No this issue is much larger than gun control.

 But what is the issue? Why did this young man go to an elementary school and shoot so many individuals? I’m afraid to say that we will most likely never know the entire story of what made him do it. Just as we have never learned the full stories of other mass shooters. Yes, there is speculation on some and there are actually notes, etc in regard to others. But there must be a combination of things that push someone such as this individual today to take that final step. What is it? What makes these people take that step?

 Personally I believe that there is  combination of circumstances that push these people to the brink. I suppose in a small way the breakdown of the family is a portion of this. However, I do not believe it is a large part as my son and most of his friends were raised entirely by single parents and all of them have turned out to be wonderful human beings. And mind you that family does not always mean a mother, father and 2.5 children. It can be a wide combination of people.

 But I also feel that movies and video games have taken things a bit far as well. Don’t get me wrong…I love movies and yes, even as a woman of a certain age, I do love video games. But there is so much bloodshed in both of those genre’s that one must question that.

And then of course there is society itself. Perhaps these young people that do these shootings did not fit in where they wanted. Perhaps they were bullied or pushed out of the clique they wanted to be in. Those actions can be very hurtful and can turn a person inside with no one to talk to. And who do these people have to talk to? I’m sure there are counselors of every kind that might be available to them, but do they know that? Are those places publicized all the time? We must get the word out there that there is help – for everyone!

And lastly the economy and the state of our nation probably does not help very much. Anyone, especially those young men that generally do these things are, like so many of us, having a great deal of difficulty finding or keeping jobs. If they are lucky enough to find something they can barely survive on what they earn.


All in all I believe it is not one specific thing that makes these individuals do what they do. No, I am not by any means, providing excuses – as there truly are none. But we, as a society must get our act together and work toward strengthening this county and our economy. We must as a society determine if we will continue making the video games and movies that all cry for more bloodshed. We must provide confidential places for these individuals to go in order to obtain the help they so desperately need.

 Again…my heart goes to those in the of Newtown, Conn. I cannot comprehend the sadness that you must be dealing with.


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relationships and politics…

Hmmm…I’m wondering how well these actually go together. After watching one of the morning political roundtable discussions we had our own discussion. Actually two of them. Both quite interesting to say the least.

Ok, so I have known for some time that New Guy didn’t vote. Ugh…that is something that does not sit well with me but I let it slide. And my thing is that if you do not vote then you better keep your mouth shut and not complain about what happens. Oh New Guy says he agrees with that but I’m really not so sure he does.

So on to the first discussion in which I mention that the next president whoever that may be will most likely be choosing at least one and possibly two Supreme Court justices. And that truly scares me depending upon who ends up in office. New Guy didn’t think that that was such a big deal. I tell him it is as Roe v Wade will most likely come up – once again. His remark was that they would probably keep it so not to worry. I say that may not necessarily be true. His comment then was that there would always be doctors – or people – that would perform them. I state that would be true but most likely in back alleys as were done in the 1960’s and early 1970’s during which many, many women were maimed or killed. Hmmm, he did not seem to be too effected by that.

Second political conversation of the day was a bit disturbing though not sure which one disturbed me more. During this conversation New Guy states we started off as a dictatorship and in many ways that is preferable to what we have now. What??? He says the constitution was flawed which I somewhat agreed with but also explained that it has been ratified and continues to change with the times. Which I point out cannot be done under a dictatorship. Long discussion ensued and he is pissed off because the constitution actually encourages slavery and discrimination against people of color. He was pissed because people of color (including Asians which he is) could not marry Caucasians. Of course he did not accept the fact that I reminded him that it was written in a different time and that things have indeed changed. He also pretty much ignored the fact that women were also discriminated against. In his mind it was a dictatorship. I suggested that perhaps if he thinks a dictatorship is better (which is pretty much what he was saying) then perhaps he should move to where there is a dictator. Hmmm, don’t think he really liked that. There is a certain change in his voice that I have learned to listen to. It was with that voice that he discussed this and he was very passionate about it.

Politics does play an important part in my life. Certainly not like it did when I was in my 30’s when I was pretty much out there. But it is important. And it is important to me what happens, not just for me but my grandchildren and their children. I don’t want things to go backwards. And I have never said that either candidate is perfect because believe me neither one is. But New Guy’s feelings on some of these issues really bother me. And I’m not sure how much these things should enter into a relationship or not. Because he has some definite feelings about some issues which are totally the other end of the spectrum than mine is that something I need to be concerned about? LOL…one good thing to know is that he will not be voting!

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Filed under my own thoughts


I have never been raped. Nor have I have been sexually or physically abused by a man. Well ok, once my ex-husband hit me. That was the end of the marriage. I have been lucky. I know that. But I know women who have not been so lucky. I have friends who have been raped. I have friends who have been sexually abused by men they were supposed to be able to trust.

It is horrific what some men will do to women. Whether or not they know them. Whether or not they love them. They can do horrific things.

It felt as though society and the legal system was finally getting real while men continued to do these horrific things. It felt as though society and the legal system were catching up with how things should be and the fact that society should be pissed off at these men; and that the legal system should finally do something to them other than just a slap on the wrist.

But something has happened in this recent political season. So many comments regarding rape have shown where some men still stand. These comments show their true selves…they say what these men truly feel. And these comments take this country back far too many years. They want to take women back to where we no longer have a voice once again.

While I cannot write about this as eloquently as some other women can that certainly does not mean that I am not as pissed off about these idiotic men as they are. All women should truly stop and think about what these men are really saying when they talk about rape. It is not just rape or the consequences that they are talking about. Yes they do believe that any child produced through a rape should be born. But I have yet to see any of these men offer to raise those children. But this conversation goes much deeper than rape, sexual abuse or even abortion. This conversation goes to the fact that these men once again want to put women back to where we were so many years ago. They want to put us back to where we earn so little money that there is no way for any of us to get ahead; they want to make sure women are kept under the control of men. In other words they want to continue to rape us – perhaps not always physically but it still constitutes rape.

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Filed under Current events - generally local, my own thoughts

social media

has, in my mind gone a bit too far. Sure I have a Facebook page but honestly that is to keep in touch with friends and family. It really is. I do not have hundreds of friends on there. In fact I have fewer than 50 Facebook friends. And if I don’t know you I doubt that I would accept your “friends” request.

It isn’t that I dislike Facebook but it really is pretty much the only “social media” site that I use. I don’t use Twitter and really don’t understand that and am not sure really what other social media sites there are out there.

But I must say that I do tend to get a bit frustrated and a bit perturbed at time. It seems that everything is now linked in one way or another to Facebook. And frankly my dear…I don’t want things linked to my Facebook.

I wanted to post a comment about an article on a newspaper site (local paper) but had to use my FB account to do so. What??? Why???

And Pintrest links (or can link) to FB. Now why do I want to show everyone on FB what I happen to like on Pintrest? Frankly I doubt that they would even care?

I have been walking and hiking lately and have downloaded a couple of apps to try to help me keep track of what I have done. Many of them also link to FB. Yes, I have a choice but come on…lighten up a bit. No one really cares how far I have walked.

I have separate lives in that I say things on here that I would never consider saying on Facebook. I “like” things or share things on Facebook that are most likely not really applicable to post on here.

If I want my friends and family to know what I like on Pintrest, what kind of comments I make or how far I walk I will most certainly let them know. But in all honesty I’m a bit turned off with everything linking somehow to Facebook. I suppose this really is the way that social media is taking but don’t we already give out perhaps a bit too much of ourselves?

And yes…before everyone gets all over me I am well aware that you don’t have to link everything. Well except for the newspaper.


Filed under Society & Technology

on writing in this new age

It’s a new world – I get that. Well ok, it is for some of us of a certain age anyway. And I love most of what this new world has brought us in the way of technology. It has given us great ways to stay in touch, communicate and work. But it has also done other things that, well I don’t think are really all that great.

I have several friends that are, of course, of a certain age, that are intelligent individuals. One is a friend both in real life and on Facebook while the other is a friend in real life and email. Both of these women speak very well and intelligently. But with the first one there are many (and yes I mean many) times that I have such difficulty reading her emails and postings. Why? Because she uses abbreviations so much that I have no idea what they mean. The second person while I do totally understand all of her writings I find it difficult to understand how someone of her age cannot spell certain words. She is now retired but worked for many years in an office and I rather doubt she would have been able to get away with that there. The words she misspells are words that the younger generation are using more and more.

Am I wrong to think that good grammar and spelling are still very important skills to obtain and retain? Is it the fact that these people really don’t know the rules of spelling or grammar or have they just become lazy? I’m really not all that sure. The gal that is retired will most likely never have to worry again if her spelling is correct and probably really doesn’t care. But I fear for the younger generation who are using all of the abbreviations and shortened versions of words

IDK what is wrong…prolly just a bit lazy JMHO. JTOL that there really is much more I could say on this topic…which I most likely will at some point. TTYL.

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Filed under Society & Technology

she hates technology…

is what a friend stated last night. When asked why she hated it she replied that it has turned people into being rude. I suggested to her, quite strongly I might add, that perhaps it wasn’t technology that she hated but the way society has interacted with technology. No, she was adamant that it was technology. Several of us agreed that it really isn’t technology as technology (ie, computers, tablets, phones, etc) can only do what they are programed (by humans I might add) to do.

I too feel that society has not yet learned how to deal with technology. We still see people walking around talking, rather loudly at that, on the phone. And surprisingly many, if not most, of the conversations I have overhead have been of a personal nature.

When people really began to use cell phone on a fairly regular basis and friend of mine and I went to dinner. Just before we were served our entrees he answered his phone and proceeded to talk to his daughter. It was not an urgent call by any stretch of the imagination. As I sat there basically twiddling my thumbs he continued to talk. Eventually I placed some money on the table and got up and walked out. He later called me to see if everything was alright. I explained it was and that I did not appreciate him talking on the phone while we were supposed to be at dinner. He honestly did not understand. That is until about a month later when he was at dinner with another friend. The other friend took a call and continued with apparently a rather long discussion about a mutual friend. He called me the following day and apologized. He is now very conscious of turning his phone off.

But so many people seem to feel that the world is just going to stop if they don’t respond to a text or email or phone call immediately. But I have to ask what exactly is all that important? Even I business many of those calls and emails can wait even an hour or so.
No, it is not technology my friend hates but it is how society has come to treat technology. Perhaps we could all do our share and step away from it once in a while.

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yoga and cell phones

I think most people understand what yoga is don’t they? Yes, it is a form of exercise but it is a mental and spiritual discipline. Classes tend to be slower than other forms of exercise and they tend to be on the quiet side. I also think that most of us that attend these classes rather expect some peace and quiet while we concentrate and relax.

Well it was recently reported that a yoga teacher was fired. She taught at several different locations, one of which was a very well-known social network company. She begins all of her classes asking the attendees to turn off their cell phones but apparently one person did not do so and in fact began to use her phone during the class. The instructor did not say anything to her at all, however, did apparently give her a strict look.

Yes this situation took place in Silicon Valley where people do feel entitled and feel the need to remain connected. But truly what can possibly be so important that it can’t wait for an hour? Did anyone else not even notice since it was after all located at a large social media firm in Silicon Valley?

And does that actually excuse anything? I wonder what would have happened had this situation taken place somewhere in mid America? Do we really need to stay connected 24 hours a day? What would happen if we did not respond to something right away?

At some point we need to remember that there is a courtesy toward others that should be respected. At some point people need to realize that there are places in which “staying connected” is not acceptable. If you are going to a yoga class you should realize this, especially if the instructor requests no cell phones at the beginning of class. People…the world will not end if you do not respond to a message or check your social media right away. That is a promise I can make to you (well unless you are the president!)

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Filed under Society & Technology