How the heck did you do that?

I mean really…that is pretty amazing! Just like you!

Find this site I mean. After all I have not done anything with it since 2010!

All is not lost though if you would still like to follow me and see what is going on these days. You see I have a new site at JoyfullySolo.com

Why don’t you pop on over and say Hi…

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acts of kindness…

ImageI was watching TV the other night and heard that one of the news commentators had tweeted something about doing 26 Random Acts of Kindness to show support for those in Connecticut. The report made it sound as though no one had ever thought of doing anything like this before. It made it sound as though no one ever did these acts of kindness. It made it sound as though it was her idea alone. Ok, so I will let her have that if that is what she needs.

But…with that being said I truly think many of us do these Random Acts of Kindness every day, sometimes without even realizing it.

I had started a post earlier but then began to rethink it. I was going to post about some of the things I have read about where people do a specified number of Acts of Kindness on their birthdays.  Well being a woman of a certain age I thought that was perhaps a few too many – at least for one day. So I had thought about doing it on an everyday basis.  I went through and looked at different lists and made my own list. Being quasi unemployed I had to go with things that did not cost anything. And yes, there are a ton of them out there.

In the middle of writing that post I had to stop and run some errands. While doing so I stopped to pick up a few groceries. In the parking lot I reminded a lady that was just backing out that she had a cup of coffee on the top of her car – which she had completely forgotten about.  While in line to purchase my goodies I let someone go in front of me as she kept looking at her watch. She thanked me profusely and explained that she had to get her daughter to a doctor’s appointment but had run out of diapers that she desperately needed.

When I returned home and back to my post I realized something. I realized that I do many Random Acts of Kindness throughout my week (some days I don’t go out). And I realized that they do not have to come from a list that someone else has set up.

But more importantly I realized that I do not have to tell the world what a wonderful person I am by doing these Acts of Kindness. I know I do them. I have always done them without really thinking about it. I feel good doing them. And I will continue to do them as I have always done.

The point is this…I think many of us do these Random Acts of Kindness. Not because some news person suggested it. Not because some website has recommended it. But because that is who we are. And we don’t need to advertise it. We do it because it is the right thing to do.

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we’re still here…

ImageSo I guess that means that all bills need to be paid, plans kept and blog posts to write! Actually I think this is a good thing. I never really believed the world was going to end but perhaps it is a good time to reflect and hopefully make some changes.

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Newtown, Conn – forever changed

ImageAs with most of you my heart breaks for the families, friends and entire community of Newtown, Conn. Posts like this – and many others of a similar nature – should never have to be written. But they will be written and will be done so after this case as well.

 While I have not heard it yet I am sure the issue of gun control will once again surface. Honestly, I do not belong to either side of this particular issue. But I will tell you that gun control will not stop people such as this young man today. If someone is insistent upon obtaining a gun they will do so. Criminals will always be able to do so. If they do not follow the law in registering or other laws in regard to the gun control issue why the Hell would they follow any other law? No this issue is much larger than gun control.

 But what is the issue? Why did this young man go to an elementary school and shoot so many individuals? I’m afraid to say that we will most likely never know the entire story of what made him do it. Just as we have never learned the full stories of other mass shooters. Yes, there is speculation on some and there are actually notes, etc in regard to others. But there must be a combination of things that push someone such as this individual today to take that final step. What is it? What makes these people take that step?

 Personally I believe that there is  combination of circumstances that push these people to the brink. I suppose in a small way the breakdown of the family is a portion of this. However, I do not believe it is a large part as my son and most of his friends were raised entirely by single parents and all of them have turned out to be wonderful human beings. And mind you that family does not always mean a mother, father and 2.5 children. It can be a wide combination of people.

 But I also feel that movies and video games have taken things a bit far as well. Don’t get me wrong…I love movies and yes, even as a woman of a certain age, I do love video games. But there is so much bloodshed in both of those genre’s that one must question that.

And then of course there is society itself. Perhaps these young people that do these shootings did not fit in where they wanted. Perhaps they were bullied or pushed out of the clique they wanted to be in. Those actions can be very hurtful and can turn a person inside with no one to talk to. And who do these people have to talk to? I’m sure there are counselors of every kind that might be available to them, but do they know that? Are those places publicized all the time? We must get the word out there that there is help – for everyone!

And lastly the economy and the state of our nation probably does not help very much. Anyone, especially those young men that generally do these things are, like so many of us, having a great deal of difficulty finding or keeping jobs. If they are lucky enough to find something they can barely survive on what they earn.

 

All in all I believe it is not one specific thing that makes these individuals do what they do. No, I am not by any means, providing excuses – as there truly are none. But we, as a society must get our act together and work toward strengthening this county and our economy. We must as a society determine if we will continue making the video games and movies that all cry for more bloodshed. We must provide confidential places for these individuals to go in order to obtain the help they so desperately need.

 Again…my heart goes to those in the of Newtown, Conn. I cannot comprehend the sadness that you must be dealing with.

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Photos – Golden Gate Bridge

While I have lived the majority of my life in the San Francisco Bay Area I never walked the bridge until just recently. I went with a group of friends on the day after Thanksgiving. Generally everyone knows that when you head to SF or the bridge area you take a coat as it will be windy and possibly cold. Not that day! We all had our jackets off within perhaps 30 minutes. It was absolutely beautiful weather to do a 5 mile walk. And the bridge itself is truly a work of art.

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life has been…

flowers - 20well life. I am searching for work. While I would love a part-time job it would have to be one in which I could control the hours so I could keep the part-time job I currently have which does not have specific hours. Apparently even with part-time work they expect specific hours. Or, I would like a full-time job but my goodness those are certainly few and far between these days.

I understand that “gigs” are the new wave of the work world. But for some reason that really scares me. Plus what do I do? How do I do it? Yea, I know there are all those sites out there to get you through it…I have read them all. Maybe someday soon I will actually sign up for one or maybe two.

Actually I would like to work for myself. Have thought of a couple of businesses I could do. But it is the marketing that always stops me. I cannot get out there and “sell” myself. Have never been able to do that. I can sell someone else’s business if I know them and respect them but to sell me? Nope, no can do.

And of course since I am not working all that much I don’t have all that much money. So while I have a ton of free time I have no money to go do anything! I believe that is the ultimate Catch-22. Things will change…they have to…and yes I know it is me that has to make those changes.

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I’m just not ready…

for a relationship. At least with this guy. Or at least I hope that is the case. What if I’m not ready for anyone? That does scare me a bit.

It has been a minimum of 20 years since I have really been in a relationship of any kind. So when this guy showed even a little bit of interest to me I think I just fell for it. I have spent the last five months with him and the last month or maybe six weeks picking out all the little things I don’t like about him. But I have also been trying to figure out if I could live with those “little” things long term or not. Most, yes, I think I possibly could. But there are a few things that I know would drive me over the edge.

So I suppose today is going to be “break-up” day. I dread it. I really do. What will his response be? Will he be hurt? Will he be upset? Honestly, I don’t know. I do think, though, that he knows it is coming.

But the big question is this: Will I have to wait another 20 years before someone else finds me attractive? Or before someone wants to be with me? Oh I really hope not!

But that is what is so great about this group I have found myself in. It is group that I met via the internet (well, where else??). We started off as a hiking/walking group but as with any group of this nature there has become a core group which is primarily women – all of whom are women of a certain age. We have become a close group of friends and now do much more than just walk and hike though we still do that. All of these women are single and all are going through the same thing. Though several have had relationships more recently than I. Perhaps with their help and encouragement I might actually get out there and begin meeting some more men. Wonder if there are any men of a certain age out there that are worth it?

LOL…also without a man in my life I might actually have time to post a bit more on here than I have been!

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contrast…

What a strange contrast there is between the east coast and the west coast. Oh, yes, there has always been contrast between us. Almost to the point of wondering if we are all even part of the same country.

But today the contrast is so pronounced. Living on the West coast, very near San Francisco, I hear about the parade to be held in the city a bit later today honoring the World Series Giants. Yes it is a wonderful, exciting time for Giants fans all over the bay area. Well actually even if you are not a Giants fan it is hard not to get into the excitement of their win and the parade.

And yet on the other coast there is devastation, the likes of which they have never seen before. Homes, schools, workplaces are demolished. Roads are impassable. Subways are closed and will be for some time. Power is out all over, cell towers are down. Stores are closed.

The contrast between the two coasts today is dramatic. And yet we are the same country. It shows in wonderful ways. Power companies out here are sending trucks, equipment and people to help get power back on. Search and rescue crews from all over are being sent out to help locate those in need. Red Cross volunteers are already there helping to set up shelters. People from all over are giving in different ways. Once again the country will come together to help out those in need. We will come together regardless of skin color, religious beliefs or politics.

The contrast is great today as we see joy and excitement on one coast and total devastation on the other. One coast will be helping out the other in any way possible. We are one country and we will survive and we will move forward. And even though the contrast between the coasts will remain the love and the caring will also always remain.

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relationships and politics…

Hmmm…I’m wondering how well these actually go together. After watching one of the morning political roundtable discussions we had our own discussion. Actually two of them. Both quite interesting to say the least.

Ok, so I have known for some time that New Guy didn’t vote. Ugh…that is something that does not sit well with me but I let it slide. And my thing is that if you do not vote then you better keep your mouth shut and not complain about what happens. Oh New Guy says he agrees with that but I’m really not so sure he does.

So on to the first discussion in which I mention that the next president whoever that may be will most likely be choosing at least one and possibly two Supreme Court justices. And that truly scares me depending upon who ends up in office. New Guy didn’t think that that was such a big deal. I tell him it is as Roe v Wade will most likely come up – once again. His remark was that they would probably keep it so not to worry. I say that may not necessarily be true. His comment then was that there would always be doctors – or people – that would perform them. I state that would be true but most likely in back alleys as were done in the 1960’s and early 1970’s during which many, many women were maimed or killed. Hmmm, he did not seem to be too effected by that.

Second political conversation of the day was a bit disturbing though not sure which one disturbed me more. During this conversation New Guy states we started off as a dictatorship and in many ways that is preferable to what we have now. What??? He says the constitution was flawed which I somewhat agreed with but also explained that it has been ratified and continues to change with the times. Which I point out cannot be done under a dictatorship. Long discussion ensued and he is pissed off because the constitution actually encourages slavery and discrimination against people of color. He was pissed because people of color (including Asians which he is) could not marry Caucasians. Of course he did not accept the fact that I reminded him that it was written in a different time and that things have indeed changed. He also pretty much ignored the fact that women were also discriminated against. In his mind it was a dictatorship. I suggested that perhaps if he thinks a dictatorship is better (which is pretty much what he was saying) then perhaps he should move to where there is a dictator. Hmmm, don’t think he really liked that. There is a certain change in his voice that I have learned to listen to. It was with that voice that he discussed this and he was very passionate about it.

Politics does play an important part in my life. Certainly not like it did when I was in my 30’s when I was pretty much out there. But it is important. And it is important to me what happens, not just for me but my grandchildren and their children. I don’t want things to go backwards. And I have never said that either candidate is perfect because believe me neither one is. But New Guy’s feelings on some of these issues really bother me. And I’m not sure how much these things should enter into a relationship or not. Because he has some definite feelings about some issues which are totally the other end of the spectrum than mine is that something I need to be concerned about? LOL…one good thing to know is that he will not be voting!

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rape…

I have never been raped. Nor have I have been sexually or physically abused by a man. Well ok, once my ex-husband hit me. That was the end of the marriage. I have been lucky. I know that. But I know women who have not been so lucky. I have friends who have been raped. I have friends who have been sexually abused by men they were supposed to be able to trust.

It is horrific what some men will do to women. Whether or not they know them. Whether or not they love them. They can do horrific things.

It felt as though society and the legal system was finally getting real while men continued to do these horrific things. It felt as though society and the legal system were catching up with how things should be and the fact that society should be pissed off at these men; and that the legal system should finally do something to them other than just a slap on the wrist.

But something has happened in this recent political season. So many comments regarding rape have shown where some men still stand. These comments show their true selves…they say what these men truly feel. And these comments take this country back far too many years. They want to take women back to where we no longer have a voice once again.

While I cannot write about this as eloquently as some other women can that certainly does not mean that I am not as pissed off about these idiotic men as they are. All women should truly stop and think about what these men are really saying when they talk about rape. It is not just rape or the consequences that they are talking about. Yes they do believe that any child produced through a rape should be born. But I have yet to see any of these men offer to raise those children. But this conversation goes much deeper than rape, sexual abuse or even abortion. This conversation goes to the fact that these men once again want to put women back to where we were so many years ago. They want to put us back to where we earn so little money that there is no way for any of us to get ahead; they want to make sure women are kept under the control of men. In other words they want to continue to rape us – perhaps not always physically but it still constitutes rape.

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